So, my latest internet entertainment these days is coming from the Craigslist personals. I started by answering a couple of ads and was really successful with my first one, but my second one was a total failure, so I posted an ad of my own. That is when the fun began. A few offers to be my Sugar Daddy, one awesome opportunity to get to know an exhibitionist in Concord (its too bad I have no other reason to go to Concord, that could have been a fun errand), and a few fun dates later, I posted another ad.

This time around, I got even more bites on the line, including one of those gun-toting national security types at a government facility nearby. I also had a response this morning from a gentleman by the name of "Hot Desire". He indicated that he was "interested!!!" and with three exclamation points, I knew that this was going to be my soulmate. Just try to stay dry when you read the words of this smoothie:

Hi,


I am not for commitment. Need the passionate hug, kiss and the extremes of bodily pleasure.

I am 31, Indian, brown skin, black hair, sporting a frenchie. Interested in moto sports and soccer. I am as tall as 5' 7 and as light as 176 pounds. :-)

I wish to go for trips to mountains and river sides.

I work as a engineer and earn handsome.


If it interests send a pic.

In other CL excitement, I finally can relate to Pink when she says "I wanna start a fight!", only, I prefer to fight mentally. I had a brilliant spar with a very bright young man who resorted to all of our favorite shaming tactics. I will give him credit for not pulling out the "fat" accusation, but I was waiting for it. Transcript of the fight along with a link to the ad will be sent upon request.

Pet Peeve #437: Lazy students.

In the last 48 hours, I have received four increasingly frantic emails from a student wanting to know not only the titles of the books we will be using in persuasive writing next semester, but also the ISBN numbers.

I know she's trying to order her books from Half.com to avoid paying full price at the book store. I do not begrudge her for that -- I did the same thing in college and, especially, in grad school. What I do begrudge her for is bothering me with something so trivial during finals week when I have a million papers and portfolios to read, grammar exams to correct, and grades to calculate.

It's not as if the information isn't out there. She could trot over to the book store -- at most a 5 minute walk from where ever she is. (Very small campus.) She could look at the bookstore website, which lists the books for each course by both instructor name and section number. She could look on Amazon or Half.com or -- gasp! -- the textbook publisher's website.

I don't have my copies of next semester's books in my office. They're on my desk at home. Frustrated by email #4, I replied that I didn't have the ISBNs handy, but gave her the book titles, the names of the editors, and the edition numbers -- more than sufficient info to look the books up online. (And she could have found all of this out two days ago, when she sent email #1, if she's just taken the 2 minutes she spent to write me looking up the info on the bookstore website instead.)

Well. My cordial and relatively detailed reply was not enough for this girl. Oh no. Within 5 minutes, she had replied with "The website I'm using won't let me look up books without the ISBN so I need you to get those to me a.s.a.p." I called bullshit and asked for the name of the website. She has not responded. I mean...that's just dumb. What business would purposely limit its sales by requiring an ISBN number? It's not like most people have the info on hand when they're book shopping. Can you imagine walking up to an employee at Border's and saying, "Do you have a copy of 978-4130-1031-2 in stock?"

On principle, I am not going to reply to that email even once I get home and have the books in front of me. I refuse to facilitate laziness and do her work for her -- the babying cannot begin before the semester even starts. If she wants to buy her books online, an exceedingly simple task, then she can look up the damn ISBN numbers herself. Or just type the info I kindly provided into Half.com -- I am certain she would be ablel find the books that way.

One of the ways I pass time when I'm subbing as a computer teacher is to catch up on "Best of" in Craigslist - one of the few sites that isn't blocked on the district internet, strangely enough. Anyways, I found this today and had to share. By the way, yes, I was thoroughly disgusted by all that transpired on Election night, minus the bid for Prez. And those of you who enjoy Feministe, there's a photo of Obama's chief speech writer groping a cardboard cutout of Hillary Clinton while a friend of his "pours beer" down her throat and grabs her hair. Greeeat. Another fucker who likes to put women in their place by reminding them that they are nothing but meat sockets who can be violated at will. Just what I love to support.

Back to the original thought:
_______________________________________
best of craigslist> SF bay area> Lost: My Right To Marry Originally Posted: Wed, 5 Nov

Lost: My Right To Marry

---

Date: 2008-11-05, 6:36PM PST


I went to bed early last night and when I woke up, I discovered I'd lost my right to marry. It's pretty easy to recognize--four California Supreme Court justices spotted it several months back, although it took them a long damn time to finally find it. It's in like-new condition--I personally haven't had a chance to use it yet, and was really looking forward to the opportunity. A couple of my friends and family still have theirs, and even enjoy it so much they've used it several times. If you can find it for me, I'd really appreciate getting it back. I'm not sure, but I think the shady gang of thugs who stole it were heading for Utah or maybe Fresno, so please keep an eye out. Thanks.

Student quote of the day: "A high pressure working time is coming to me, even though I am a study lover." This would be a Chinese student writing about his anticipation of finals week.

I love ESL students (and their unintended humor). They have great ideas, and such a difficult time expressing those ideas. I give them a lot of credit. I'd be incredibly frustrated if my shoddy language/vocabulary skills reduced me to sounding like a third grader in my college papers, yet my ESL kids don't seem too bothered. They just want to learn.

Better late than never, I say...

A BIG SHOUT OUT TO MY STRAIGHT GAY-BOYFRIEND (ON-THE-SIDE), Naze-Dawg, who will be running the Napa-to-Sonoma half marathon with me in July! Woo-hoooo!

(my sincerest apologies, Naze)

So I ran the Halvsie in San Antonio this weekend! Finished at a pace of 11:00 min/miles for a total of 2:27. It was hard. I ran with an injured hip, because I apparently hate myself, and by mile 8 things were getting a little painful, so I stopped and stretched a bunch...which brought down my time a little. So, all in all I'm pretty happy with myself...although I won't be running for the next couple months so this damn hip can heal. I seriously am like 85 years old :)

CCFA was able to raise $850,000 through the half marathon, and I raised $3,700. Thanks again to those who donated!

I've signed up for the next half marathon from Napa to Sonoma in July if anyone is interested in joining me! Also, I will be doing another fundraiser, so I encourage those of you who weren't able to donate this time around to donate for the next one!

This book is probably old news to those who actually have time to read. I must admit I cheated today and went to the "Popular" shelf hoping something caught my eye. It's sad when I can't even brave the adult section of the library to find myself a good book that doesn't involve a hog and a dog playing ping pong or wiggle and waggle the worms playing in the garden. Anyways, a quick run by the 'popular' shelf I stumbled across Waiter Rant by The Waiter. It's based off of this waiter's blog - which I'm already totally addicted to - check it out! I've only managed 3 chapters, but that is 3 more chapters then I have read in months and it is a wonderful book. Not sure if I'll ever eat out again, and especially not with my mother-in-law who totally fits the 'bad' customer profile to a t! Anyways, have you read it yet? What did you think? Will you read it and talk to me about it in adult talk?! I'll even get on my knees and beg if that's what it take!

Most of you probably don't know that in my Elementary days, I was big into piano. Starting at age 6 or 7, I began lessons & practiced everyday for an hour or so. And then I got to Junior High and, like all good teenagers, didn't want to tie up precious moments of my life in practicing when I could be socializing (in any of its forms: sports, debate, the phone, etc).

Life went on, and I buried my love of this great big clunky instrument. That is, until this weekend. I saw one posted on Craigslist in the "free stuff" section and decided to email and see if it was still available. It had only been posted a few minutes earlier, but Craigslist people are rabid. Seriously. But I somehow managed to be the first one to email (out of thousands over the next several hours), and I got it! I hired professional movers for $180 - because it's a mint condition piano and I didn't want to fuck it up in the move - so in the end it wasn't completely free.

The movers.. that is a whole 'nother blog post! Creepy. More on that later. But for now, here's a picture of my baby, safe in her new home. She was born in 1993 in the great state of Indiana, and her name (for the time being) is Kimball. She's open to suggestions for a name change though.

I was invited to the group "I Grew Up in Wisconsin Rapids", and since, well, I DIDN'T, I grew up near Rudolph, I didn't instantly confirm the invite. I went to the site for the group to see if I should join or not. I read through the wall posts, saw that many things we remembered were still there, including "Mary" still delivering papers (who I can only assume is the pre-op MTF papergirl/woman, wonder if she is closer or further from the op) and a few other things that indicated that yeah, I can consider myself part of Rapids too.

Then I read further down and discovered that the place in America where a gas station accidentally misaligned a decimal point at a gas pump (an event that I didn't even notice) just so happened to be in my other hometown, Wisconsin Rapids. Someone posted an editorial about the hoopla that started. After giving an overview of the debate, the writer mentioned a number of moral dilemmas we face in the modern world, finally ending with a zinger

So I reached my fundraising goal of $3700 for the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation. Thank you, Urs, Sig, and Erica for supporting me!

I'll be running in the Rock n' Roll Half Marathon in San Antonio on November 16th for Soma.

Two and a half weeks! My goal is to finish the race at a pace of 10:00 minutes/mile, which I am remaining hopeful for. My longest run is 10 miles up to this point, at a pace of 10:10 minutes/mile. My fastest run was a 9:59 minutes/mile...but that run was only 5.5 miles...so we'll see if I can sustain that for another 8 miles :) This Sunday I will be running 12 miles if I don't pass out along the way!!!

I am so appalled at this email I got I am looking for some insightful responses. Let alone that it is entire false and pure crap ... this is so freaky that people are reading and BELIEVING this. Even if you aren't an Obama fan this is just completely outrageous and will definitely irritate you at the least!
I clipped the beginning and end, but if you would like the entire email let me know and I will forward it on. This is what makes my CHRISTIAN blood boil - these are radical 'Christians' that clearly forgot or never learned what it meant to be a Christian!
----------------------------------------------------------------

Thought you'd find this interesting. Celeste and Loren Davis are Missionaries in Africa and can shed some firsthand light on one of our Presidential candidates.

Thanks for sending out an alert about Obama. We are living and working in Kenya for almost twelve years now and know his family (tribe) well. They are the ones who were
behind the recent Presidential election chaos here. Thousands of people have been displaced by election violence (over 350,000) and I don't know the last count of the dead. Obama, under 'friends of Obama' gave almost a million dollars to the opposition campaign who just happened to be his cousin, Raila Odinga, who is a socialist trained in east Germany ... He has been trying to bring Kenya down for years and the last president threw him in prison for trying to subvert this country! December 27th elections brought cries from ODM (Odinga Camp) of rigged election. Obama and Raila speak daily. As we watch Obama rise in the US we are sure that whatever happens, he will use the same tactic, crying rigged election if he doesn't win, and possibly cause a race war in America .

What we would like you to know is what the American press has been keeping a dirty little secret. Obama IS a Muslim and he IS a racist and this is a fulfillment of the 9-11 threat that was just the beginning. Jihad is the only true Muslim way. We have been working with them for 20 years this July! He is not an American as we know it. Please encourage your friends and associates not to be taken in by those that are promoting him. It is world wide jihad. All our friends in Europe are very disturbed by the Muslim infiltration into their countries.

By the way, his true name is Barak Hussein Muhammed Obama. Won't that sound sweet to our enemies as they swear him in on the Koran!?

God Bless you.

Too funny not to share.

So I'm in a fun situation, dating a security guard from Richmond, part of a family infamous in Richmond (aka the ghetto of the Bay Area) for fighting. He told me the story around 3am this morning, I remember there was something to do with his grandmother having a kid with some guy and then his dad being a marine or something, I don't even know. But my co-worker from the area has heard of this family and the stories. He's been nothing but awesome to me, even when I told him something that I could have kept to myself. He can't stop thinking about me and I can't stop thinking about him. Not sure how this will turn out in the long run, but I want to see where it goes.

There is one problem (beyond him being a couple of inches shorter than me), last night, we were out on my balcony and were talking about what we believed. He does not believe in evolution. I had been up for 20 hours at that point, and not being a biologist myself, I am never able to refute these points even when not dead tired. The points? That things had to be designed, this could not have come about by random chance. My rebuttal: it isn't random chance, it is the process of evolution. Beyond that, I got nothing.

This isn't a deal-breaker - at least not now (definitely not now), but I'd like some back-up in the future. I don't think this guy is a young-earth creationist, just someone that thinks things were "designed". I don't even know if I care to discuss it at this point, but it might come up again, and I want more evidence than things I remember from the Dawkins book. So, lay it on me: I'm dating a creationist, what do I say to point out that he is full of it?

P.S.: Email me for remaining, hot, details - not all, perhaps, but more of them

This is why I'm scared of what's going to happen on November 4: so many voters are so, so stupid. Obama's an Arab, you know...and you know what that means.

Have you ever met someone so annoying that you just laugh before they even open their mouth? At Chuck's wedding in CA this past weekend we met a tick like thing called Jay for North Carolina. At the rehearsal party he brought his own ping pong balls to play beer pong! Everyone egged this guy on. Anything anyone said he had to 10-up it! Forget 1-upping. He pro wrestled, he only has 5% body fat ... yeah I could go on forever. He wore this huge gaudy ring - it looked a lot like a class ring, and I think he was trying to play it like a sports ring or something!
So all of us Ripon College people thought we were safe when we were seated at the Ripon table - obviously he hadn't attended. Yeah, Jay sat right next to Jacob. So I commented on the cool place cards and asked if he got one. I then noticed his card said RIPON! We were not happy with Chuck & Brynn!
This is classic Jay is an annoyance episode! Chuck's brother-in-law who is English sat at our table. Jay begins speaking way too fast and totally garbled about the best thing in America. (the worst part about listening to him speak is it's so garbled and fast you always have to ask what he said) Can you guess his list?! #1Annheiser Beer, #2-Wendy's, #3-Ranch, can you guess #4?! A friend said totally sarcastically I bet #4 is Nascar - it totally was. We laughed for so long! At least we have many great and entertaining stories to remember for the next get togethers!

Laugh of the Day
(comments as posted on Facebook)

Erica's status message: "but Palin was direct, swift, and assured..." WTF? You know what? Palin did AWESOME! I mean when the bar is on the floor, it's easy to soar above it!!

Brian's comment:

Palin did not say one thing of substance. All she had to do was not appear "shit-your-pants-stupid." This woman is a know-nothing hick. Another ignorant GOP boob that makes the other mouth-breathers out there in NASCAR land feel better about themselves. Screw 'em. This woman aint worth a broke-dick dog.

How's that for folksy.

Rock reply-comments:
As the foremost lefty-lucy feminazi (of all time), I'll take the bait. Whether I'm for or against Palin is irrelevant to my absolute disrespect for Bryan's opinion. Saying she "ain't worth a broke-dick dog" smacks of insecurity and a disgusting level of sexism. That sort of speak just makes me love Palin more. Just to ... Read Moreget under the skin of you "liberal" dudes with severe gender issues.

Brian responds (emphasis added to pinpoint the source of hilarity): How is what I said sexist? I didn't say she "aint worth a broke dick dog" because she's a woman. She'd be a dunderhead if she was a man. And here's proof: her and Mr. Bush are completely identical in terms of intellect, governing philosophy, and intellectual curiosity, and he aint worth a broke-dick dog either.

And that's a great phrase, by the... Read More way, broke dick dog. I got it from Predator. A highly underrated movie.

Rock's reply: ...?

...excuse me while I DIE of laughter.

Student Faux pas of the day: "Men have changed massively from 50 years ago. Men use to not care about the way they look and what they whore."

Nice.

This Sunday, I danced on a roof with a bunch of people near the Folsom Street Fair. There were wigs and cute shorts and whips and nudity all over. One of the songs was "Soccer Practice", which is definitely a new favorite. Here is another gem from the same artist. He has a very good message.

My friend has a tutoring thing today, starting at 9:30(PDT) this morning, so I had to leave in the morning with him. We got up around 7, freshened up, got coffee, and said bye at the BART station. I helped a guy buy a BART ticket, got mine, and rode the escalator to the platform. I saw "2 minutes" on the screen and thought, "oh, swee- oh, SFO, I need the other way" and began waiting. When the SFO train arrived, I watched the people get on. I saw a blue and gold jacket with a very tasteful "UWEC" on the back.

I so wanted to express solidarity, my Wisconsin pride. I made a new friend out here who is from Appleton. I showed the video of my dad talking "about the meat" and he said that my dad sounds like his dad. Then they heard me say, "I'm still going, so," and we cracked up at my accent. I totally have Wisconie Pride.

Update: This is amazing

This is a picture of my harvest. And a big EFF YOU to those out there who said I couldn't grow a tomato plant indoors :) More veggies to come! Hooray.

And I also wanted to write about the Republican National Convention, because I know at least Erica is interested. Some dude gave me his Club Level ticket so I could mingle with the masses. I was hoping I'd get on TV since I was one of the 5 brown people there. Sadly, I did not.

So, my reaction: They are crazy. Crazy about everything. At one point thousands of people in the crowd were chanting "drill, baby, drill" (or something to that effect) and it honestly made me feel like I was in the belly of hell. A lot of their issues I can at least see how they are misled to support, but this one is INSANE. I can't relate to it at all. Like, the way it was chanted was almost vindictive, defiant, and destructive over any virtue like logic and rationality. It made me think of "Wimp Factor". For those of you who read it, I know you have my back.

McCain and his wife are both pretty terrible speakers. Mrs. McCain recited the words like she was reading them, but she looked stunning, in my opinion...maybe because of all the work she's had done ;) She does a shit-ton of volunteer work across the world, which I really respect and love about her. I guess you have time for it when your daddy established Budweiser. I think they adopted two kids from her work, one of which was at the RNC. It's crazy because she is from Bangladesh, so kinda looks Indian, and I feel connected to her somehow :) I'm not sure what happened to the other adopted child...they mentioned there was one, but s/he wasn't present, and they didn't talk about it anymore. I almost barfed when she said, "all women look for men who will make good fathers".

McCain was a pretty bad speaker, too, but I do like how his style contrasts with Obama. He much more soft spoken, and even though he's not a good speaker, he kinda does come off like a grandpa. An insane grandpa, but still. I really wanted to puke when he said, "education is the civil rights issue of the 21st Century". Yeah, easy to say when you're a rich, white, sexist, straight male. His focus was mainly on his military service: shocker.

They are CRAZY about Palin. No one could say her name on stage without the crowd rushing to their feet and cheered like raving lunatics. It was really, really awkward. She is the perfect female politician for dude republicans (and even some dude democrats). Not intimidating and emasculating like Hillary Clinton because she's so young and inexperienced, knows her place well enough to emphasize her attractiveness and sexuality, and hates on women to be part of the Boys Club.

They are CRAZY about how many children they have. McCain and his wife-y brought it up a number of times that he has 7 kids and Palin has 5. And both times I remember it being brought up, the crowd cheered wildly. And they presented this total lie of their romance together. 30 years together isn't that impressive when you're 75 years old, btw. And they conveniently forgot to mention how he cheated on his first wife with her for a while before he ended his first marriage. Funny how they're able to overlook such glaring hypocrisy when it's their own lives their trying to sell.

Some other liberal got through the doors and screamed out "get out of Iraq!" while McCain was speaking. Obviously, they kicked her out, and I thought McCain actually dealt with it well. He said something like, "don't get caught up in the background noise". And the crowd started chanting, "U! S! A!...U! S! A!...U! S! A!...U! S! A!".

Actually, they chanted that a lot through the night, and it's not the way you or I would have chanted it, with pride and with hope. In fact, we never would have chanted it in response to any of these scenarios at all (did people chant "U! S! A!" at the DNC?). Their chantings struck me as taunting more than anything else. And it made me feel like these people are not the patriots that they want us to believe. They're just creepy.

Breaking News: I have altered my default hairstyle for the first time since early 2003. I have official bangs again and part my hair slightly to [my] the left. Photographs maybe someday. My camera is being a bitch.

How many hours I've been away from home is proportional to how many pairs of shoes and articles of clothing she has moved to the kitchen mat along with her toys :)

Every time I hear "Our next president of the United States, John McCain," I die a little inside.

I'm watching the Republican National Convention live on...I don't even know what network, because there's no logo on the screen. Anyway, all this conservative rhetoric and fervor and optimism is making me nauseous...and nervous. I can't imagine how I'm going to feel if McCain wins this election -- and let's be realistic. He might. This country is getting more and more conservative, and the religious right is taking a larger hold of media/politics/policy all the time.

I remember how I felt when Dubya lost in 2000...and in 2004. Disbelief. Absolute disbelief. I really don't want to go through that again. Come on, America. Do the right thing: Vote Obama.

The Republicans are saying that Americans can't learn anything from European social systems. The Republicans are saying that Americans need to drill in ANWR rather than decreasing our dependency on oil and doing our part to curb global warming. The Republicans want their wimminfolk to keep their legs shut, get back in the kitchen, and raise our babies right. The Republicans want Jesus to be a bigger part of our government and our lives.

I'm sorry, but after eight years of watching America go down the shitter one day at a time, I cannot tolerate this anymore. This year, I may have to take to my bed if a Republican gets elected. Please, America, don't let it come to that.

Once again the Republicans are doing an impeccable job of framing the Palin's-daughter-being-preggers issue, which I wish the Democrats would correct immediately. Say it with me: This is not about her child. THIS IS NOT ABOUT HER CHILD. Her child was never on the table. What is on the table is the blatant hypocrisy of an anti-choice, anti-contraception, anti-pre-marital-sex, anti-sex-education politician who wants you, the public, to do as she says, but when her family doesn't, she demands privacy and respect. What is on the table is the failure of abstinence-only education. What is on the table is that if abstinence-only education failed a young woman who should have been the poster child for the success of such education, it will never be successful to the public. What is on the table is that if Palin expects her child's pregnancy to be a private matter, she needs to expect that it be a private matter for everyone. What is on the table are Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates who want the benefit of a feminist political climate while blatantly opposing feminism. Good luck to them.

Under other circumstances I would never, ever, in a million years, say that a woman can't have kids and hold such a job. But with 5 kids and a Conservative Republican viewpoint of the role of women, the shoe fits in Palin's case. Certainly women who think more of women could do both. But she has shown that she does not. Seeing as she identifies her religious and social role in her family to be the primary caregiver to 5 kids, and help prepare for her child to have a child, she would not be afforded the time to do the job of VP. Surely her husband would be incapable of picking up the slack, being a Conservative Republican male, and all.

I'm done now. I think.

What do you think might have happened if Chelsea Clinton were pregnant at 17 in the White House?? Just curious on your thoughts about all this.

Also, what is up with the Palin kids' names?! Seriously, did she drop silverware and try to make a name for the sound it made or what?! I'm also annoyed that everyone and their mother assumes all Christians are Republicans.

Hey Dudes-

You know my sister is sick. Yeah, she's a perv (we all knew that), but what you may not have know is that she also has Ulcerative Colitis, which is thought to be an autoimmune disease where her body essentially is attacking her lower digestive tract...mostly her intestines. It is generally seen as a counterpart to Crohn's Disease, which attacks the entire digestive tract (even less fun). It's really a big pain in the ass, because she will inevitably get colon cancer as a result of the disease. Although I have graciously offered my intestines to her, she said it wouldn't even help because her body might reject MY intestines, too. Which makes no sense, because my intestines are incredible, although I'll spare you details. Not to mention, of course, she'd have to poop in a bag for six months or so before she could even find out if my intestines do the trick. Decidedly not fun.

At Grand Old Day in Saint Paul, I randomly found this organization, Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America, that exists to help her and her people. Being that there is no way for me to immediately help her, I thought this was an awesome alternative: Team Challenge. They train you to run a half marathon in the name of someone who has the disease to raise awareness, and you raise a few thousand dollars to donate to the organization. So, in November I will be running for my sister.

I am in training, and I need to raise an incredible amount of moo-lah to meet my financial goal. It is tax deductible and this website even accepts credit cards. Ask your employer if they will match your donation. Many do!

There you can find the CCFA website link to their financial info and a blurb my sister wrote about her disease. Please consider a donation. Every teenie-tiny bit will help me reach my goal. And you'll probably get tons of good karma, too.

Thank you so much!
Rock

Happy 5 year anniversary, Erica and Justin

I guess we kind of got distracted:
Happy Birthday Erica
Happy Birthday me [and my Dad]
Happy Anniversary (5 years too, yay) Lisa and Jacob (and Dan and Sam too, though I'm not sure they read this)

Yes.

I received this e-mail from one of my students. I have to ask myself, "WTF?" Seriously...in what universe is it OK to send this kind of email to your prof?

* * *

Below you will find an invite to the most prestigious party ever thrown...

COME TO MY PARTY!!!! NO INVITATION REQUIRED ALL FREE FREE FOOD FREE DRINKS FREE ENTRY ALL AGES BE A PART OF THE KRUNKEST PARTY EVER!!! Come Kick it at The Biggest Party Ever. Special Guest: Jesus Christ, God The Father, Featuring DJ Holy Spirit. When: When you enter the gates of Heaven Where: Kingdom of Heaven How: Just Ask for Forgiveness and Believe On Him Why: Because God Loves You ....Come As You Are!!! Bring Nothing but Your Heart and Soul. 98% WON'T STAND UP FOR GOD... RESEND THIS IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE 2% WHO WILL. Jesus said, "If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you in front of my Father." Resend this as, come to my party - to at least 10 people!

Also, this is the funniest thing I've seen in a while. I love the Internets:

I got a dog! I named her "Mika" (mee-kah). She is about a 7-pound, 3-year-old dog I rescued. They know for sure she's a miniature schnauzer, but they also think that she's mixed with yorkie because she's really small to be straight mini schnauzer.

She is soooo sweet but I have my work cut out for me because she refuses to leave my kitchen (oh, please! I live in an alcove for crying out loud!) and doesn't walk on a leash (like, won't move). We don't know what her past is like, because she was found in a corn field with her hair all matted and skinny and scared :( She LOVES crawling on your lap and snuggling, though, and is potty trained and LOVES her crate, which is usually the hardest part of the training. I also have yet to hear her bark. B*itch woke me up at 5:30 this morning, but I'll forgive her because it makes me go running in the morning!

It's birthday season! Today's shoutout goes to LAUREN, who is...what...26 today? We're getting so damn old I can't keep it all straight. Anyway, Happy Birthday!!!

Introducing Everything We Eat

Rock and I were inspired on Saturday night, and I was further inspired as I realized that I could certainly benefit from displaying my food choices as well. I'm the only person that posted so far, but I have three full days on there now.

If you too would like to join, just let me know - Rock and I picked the people that gave Sig more of a hard time :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIGNE!

My "garden". On the bottom left is cilantro, strawberries, oregano, thyme, mint, peppers and basil. So far nothing has died, which is good...but I'll keep you updated about that. The basil is actually flourishing, so I think I'll have to concoct a pistachio or cashew pesto sometime soon. The flowers all came off the tomato plant, so I'm a little worried that it's not getting enough sun, but one of the tomatoes is getting ripe which is totally getting me excited. The strawberries are unbelievably good...I don't even want to buy them in a store anymore. The plant doesn't produce a ton of them, but it's decorative and an excellent treat now and then. Apparently it will continue producing through the winter too. Anyway, not particularly interesting, but I'm excited. :)

The Spore Creature Creator is super fun.



The best part is that you can download the basic creator for free and still have hours and hours of fun. I definitely recommend this to everybody, even if you don't like video games. Maybe you'll like it so much that when the Spore game comes out this fall we can all play together online :)

I realize health care is expensive - I totally do. However, I just got the bill in for my annual woman exam and am shocked. Do you know how much it costs just for an annual exam? It's great to push preventative care, but don't you think affordable care would be a great option, too?!
So here's my breakdown: vaginal tray: 6.42, Pap Smear: 144.17, Pap Smear Handling Fee: 51.21, the office visit itself: 180.98! So that would total 382.78!
That's insane, when you think families struggle to pay for food now and yet something that is pretty important is totally out of the question unless you have good insurance. (I'm really glad we do, because all I need to cover is the $15 copay) Seriously, I could have walked my swabs to the lab to save them 50 to transfer them on a cart down 2 floors.

I would like to invite you all to check out my new blog, Everything I Eat. It is the next step in my "trying to not be so fat" plan. The eating better bit is not going too well -- so my idea is that, if everyone knows what I'm eating, and especially if everyone is commenting on what I'm eating, I'll be more conscious and perhaps make better choices...not necessarily for myself, but because I'm too embarrassed to let the world know that I had alfredo sauce on two meals in one day. So it goes. Please, visit and comment. There's not a whole lot there yet since it's day one, but...hopefully I'll stick with it and things will get more interesting.

I got the idea from a book called Everything I Ate, where a food critic photographed everything he ate for an entire year...and then published the photos. It's funny -- in the middle of that book, there are several days of nothing but chicken soup. I guess he must have gotten sick. Anyway, check me and my disgusting food habits out. The only way this will work is if you're watching -- and even then, it may not.

The NYT has been making me extremely happy recently.

Salespeople are Rapists part deux

We're moving Sunday, and I needed to order a truck. So I decided I'd call around in the phonebook to find the cheapest rates. The first place I called, The Big U, wanted my credit card number before they gave me their rates. I told them I just wanted to know prices, and the woman said, "The rates can go up by the time you want to move, if you want to lock in this rate, I'll put in your credit card number, and you'll be set. If you decide to cancel, you can do so without any charge as long as it is 24 hours prior to the pickup of the truck." So, I said, "Sure, fine, whatever, as long as I can cancel for free." Well, upon calling around, I found a cheaper place. So I scheduled with them and immediately called to cancel with The Big U. I was told, after spending far too long giving name, number, address and reservation number (Why couldn't I have just given reservation number???) that I would receive a cancellation confirmation within two hours. I thought to myself, "Why can't you just confirm that I'm cancelling now?" But whatever. Three hours went by and I received no call. So I called them again. Gave all my information. Again. And again, I was told, "Ok, you've cancelled. You won't be charged anything, blah blah blah." So, the next day, I see I have a voicemail on my phone telling me the pickup location for my Big U truck. I am starting to get really mad. I call to cancel A THIRD TIME and I am told AGAIN that I will receive a confirmation phonecall in two hours. WHY THE FUCK CAN THEY NOT JUST CLICK A CANCEL BUTTON? I check my email, and again--"Just emailing to confirm your truck pickup is at such and such a place" and then I realized that these fucks are trying to stall the cancellation time to charge me for a late cancellation. I wrote a nasty email and finally got a response saying, "Ok, you're cancelled. Have a wonderful day."

Apparently, like not being raped, you have to be a bitch. "No" and "I wish to not engage in this transaction with you" were repeatedly ignored, and I was forced to go to Bitch Mode. And, after Bitch Mode was enacted, they were so super nice with the "have a wonderful day" that it almost made me feel guilty about being a bitch. Almost. It's like, "I'VE TOLD YOU NO NO NO, YOU STUPID FUCK!" And then someone saying, "Jeez, it's ok! Of COURSE you have a right to say no--noone is arguing with you--have a wonderful day!" Creeps. I SO was not going to be ripped off. This is coming days after I bitched out a garbage service for sending me bitchy bills that were not mine but had my name and information on them--with a 40.00 "late fee." This shit sounds illegal. Isn't it? Or, like rape, the onus of not getting fucked is on me--to do more than say no?

I'm trying my hand at indoor gardening :) I bought a tomato plant, cilantro and basil. My windows are huge and along one entire wall of my condo, so I get pretty direct sunlight all day long (more in the winter than the summer, though)...and those are the items that will be awesome to have fresh. I have such a weakness for fresh, ripe, soil-grown tomatoes and I use basil and cilantro fairly often, so I'm thinking that it will be nice to just be able to cut it rather than store it in my fridge where it goes bad if I don't use it immediately.

It will also be funny to pollinate the tomato plants. As far as I have learned, they are self-pollinating, so all I have to do is hold a vibrator up to the flowers once a day :D Sweet.

I was thinking someone might have some advice.. I know Urs reads about that stuff a lot and in Erica's education she may have come across some tid-bit of knowledge...

How do Alaskans know they're in the midst of a recession? The price of ammo's gone up.

I forgot to tell you girls about my vacation to Cabo San Lucas. I went for my law school friend's wedding for the long weekend. It was over-the-top incredible. Four days of reunioning with 10 law school friends and 3 days of Indian wedding madness. During the wedding top-shelf booze, food, and even some tourist stuff was taken care of. They hosted over 200 people for the destination wedding. We stayed at the Hilton with ocean view rooms, and of course I stayed extra days with some friends to snorkel, get a wave runner, and see the Pacific (we stayed on the Sea of Cortez side). My vacations have always been more on the adventurous side...I've never done this sort before...where you lounge by the infinity pool (and in the pool) for days. I might be hooked! This is the view from the hotel:


This was the set-up for the actual wedding ceremony (GORGEOUS!):


This is my friend's parade into the ceremony (notice he is riding a white horse :) :

I haggled with a local to get him to take me out on his boat to where the Pacific meets the Sea of Cortez. I think the picture is too small to see it, but lounging on the rock on the far left are a bunch of sea lions. The waves were incredible:


Of course, my facebook profile has a ton of pics, too.

Dirty Girl

Why is Feminism the dirtiest word ever? It seems that when stated, it gives most people the shivers, women included. Back when I worked at the restaurant, I'd bring in feminist literature to read on my dinner break and it elicited the strangest responses from people. A young woman I worked with told me that she'd informed her douchebag boyfriend that I was a feminist and here's the conversation that took place:

C: Yeah, I told Mark you're a feminist, and he was like, 'groan! One of those bitches?' But don't worry, I reassured him you weren't like, you know, one of THOSE feminists.

Me: Well...I AM one of THOSE feminists...I've become militant to the max.

C: (Laughes) No, Frankie. I mean, you know, THOSE feminists...the ones that are all...'GRR. Feminism.' You know, the ones that can't take a joke?

Me: And by joke, you mean sexual harassment?

Seriously. I often hear, "Oh, I hate feminists," from women that expect to be paid as much as men for doing the same job, or from women that vote, or go to college, or, you know, expect to not be beaten or raped. What the fuck?

A few months ago I read a great editorial in the Milwaukee Journal by Leonard Parker, I believe, regarding feminism and his highschool daughter. He wrote that his daughter is an honors student, plans to attend college (and has many prestigious schools to choose from), plays several highschool sports and is involved with various clubs, wants a career, etc. He asked her if she considers herself a feminist and was surprised to see her wrinkle her nose and shake her head vehemently and say, "NO, Dad, I hate feminists." He had a great line, it was something like,
"How many women turn their noses up at feminism while sitting and dining at a table feminism has prepared for them?" It bothered me somewhat that a dude could understand this concept more than a lot of women--women that shun feminists, though they want the same things. It's even more pathetic when dudes are all, "Waah! Angry feminists! I'm so threatened by their desire for equal treatment and lack of abuse in the system! Waah!" I had a friend who took a Poli-Sci course from some male professor, and on the first day of class he said, "So...we got any feminists in here? Any man-haters?" She was far too lenient. I would have seriously given that fucker a piece of my mind. To me, when he says that, he's basically saying, "Ok, so...do we have any women in here that hate men so much that they actually want to VOTE, and have a right to BE HERE in a UNIVERSITY, and have a right to not be sexually abused? WHY oh WHY do you HATE US MEN SO MUCH???!!!" Angry now.

I'm listening to Talk of the Nation right now and they're doing a segment interviewing a dude who wrote this book. I'm buying it right now. His premise is that if women had reproductive freedom, and could actualize their decisions, that world population/consumption/global warming problems would resolve themselves. He supports this with historical and scientific data supporting this conclusion, and shows how population only became a problem when men began to take the control of population growth away from women. His solution is to give back reproductive freedom to women to conserve world resources and fix the dangerous population problem...that has, obviously, led to many other problems.

He says that throughout human history, individual women collectively making personally-driven decisions regarding having children actually made our population more sustainable at those specific times. In other words, the personal has been political throughout our evolution. And now that population control is largely at the hands of men, we are having big problems. Global warming, consumption costs rising dangerously, population itself, of course, and so on.

He discusses how contraception goes back to Egyptian hieroglyphics, Greek mythology, the middle ages, etc., which I think most of us knew. And of course, he reports that abortion is ubiquitous throughout human history and evolution and is directly related to infanticide, which he also says is ubiquitous in history as a method of population control, although it is always linked to a lack of access to safe and effective contraceptives/abortions.

He has this website that has a few blogs, including some by veterinarians that see similar population control in other species. I'm adding it to the queue! It sounds like there are some very interesting discussions.

The radio show will be posted here at 7 p.m. central time, which is not very long (10 minutes maybe?), and they have more info on the page itself. I'm so sad he's taken ;) If you buy his book from that page, NPR will get a little kick-back, so I think you should!

Flickr Meme

1. what is your first name? Signe

2. what is your favorite food? Fettuccine Alfredo

3. what high school did you go to? Lincoln High

4. what is your favorite color? Blue

5. Who is your celebrity crush? Rudy Galindo

6. favorite drink? Diet Pepsi

7. dream vacation? Europe

8. favorite dessert? Cheesecake

9. what you want to be when you grow up? Writer

10. what do you love most in life? Words

11. one word to describe you. Quiet

12. wild card: Guar



1. Signe in action, 2. Fettuccine Alfredo, 3. The Future, 4. wham:a different corner, 5. Rudy Galindo, 6. Lucy Behind The Church, 7. Zuiderkerk - Amsterdam, 8. Raspberry - Swirl Cheesecake, 9. writer's teeth, 10. some people can't spell, 11. A Winter's Landmark, 12. I, stickers!

Anxious Masculinity Watch

I read this in Sunday's paper and was fortunate enough to find an online link to the piece. I loved it. It's hilarious to me how predictable and lame men are in the face of (oh, the scary!) a woman better than themselves.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/columnists/chi-fempower-0518may18,0,2675803.column

It's Bay 2 Breakers, baby!

Or, "What people do who don't get married and have kids", even though there were plenty of couples and strollers out at this event.

Every year, San Francisco has a 12k from the bay to the ocean, Bay to Breakers. Lots of people run it, there were thousands of registered runners, but the vast majority of people walk it, and most of them don't even get to the end. Instead, the start out at 8am, possibly in costume, or maybe even in nothing at all, but always with plenty of booze, and walk as far as they can go before the city closes the course. So its like Halloween, only in the morning, on the third Sunday in May, every year.

So far, I only have videos online, 5 public, but Sig is able to see all 12 because she is currently my only YouTube friend. I don't quite know how we got to be YouTube friends, since I am trying to add other people to my YouTube friends so they can see my other private videos, but c'est la vie. Currently, my computer may have a virus, or it may need new RAM, I don't quite know, but in any case, processing photos is intolerably slow these days, so I don't have many ready yet.

So, if you're thinking of a time to come to the Bay Area, plan on that weekend and plan to be wasted at 10am. Just make sure you bring lots and lots of water so you don't also end up hung over at 4:30pm. Also plan a costume - I forgot about that this year, but next year, I'm thinking pink and black fishnets, pink wig, Favre jersey, and my gold panites.

What the hell? (check out number 6)

Have you guys ever heard of this site? www.domystuff.com If not check it out. I'm curious to hear what you think. With two little kids I wouldn't feel comfortable allowing some stranger from online come 'do my stuff.' Just wondering if it's just me? Probably is - most my stuff, is house stuff - I could see help building something or walking a pet or something like that.

Have you heard? Gay Marriage Legal in California!

Yes, in the state with over 10% of America's popultion, 10% of Americans can legally declare their love! The State Supreme Court struck down the gay marriage ban today. There has not been a reported increase in the number of straight marriages ending today.

I want to enjoy this, I really really do, but that horrible pessimist in my head keeps popping up with "yeah, and just in time for the 2008 election too."

A penis museum exists...and I haven't been there yet. Seems like a good reason to go to Iceland, doesn't it?

I'm sure this is old news, but if you love to get the latest dish on the latest new whatever - fashion, food, gadget - anything you should check out BzzAgent. If you are interested let me know and I'll send you an email. Here's the scoop - you fill out a few surveys and then when new products come around to be test marketed you get first dibs on them and you just have to tell BzzAgent what you think of them - they also give you tons of free coupons for the product after it's available. You get points for checking out cool websites and giving a rating of them and you can redeem them for cool stuff. I do a few different survey type sites and this one is by far the best I've been to. Here are a few cool sites I've found from BzzAgent!

Local Harvest - a sweet map and a bunch of other interactive type stuff that helps you find the local food markets and stuff like that.

Instructables - instructions for do it yourself EVERYTHING under the sun. if nothing else this is a great site to blow time away!

Taste Spotting - tons of pictures of amazingly beautiful food with links to the recipes and the site the pic/food is from. I linked it on my blog, I love it so much :)

I thought the "Stimulus Package" was a dumb idea as soon as I heard of it. "Throw a bunch of money at low to middle class Americans, they'll go out and buy some crap and save the world" - yeah right....

I mean, even if I got the highest amount possible, it isn't enough to really affect my spending habits. I mean, sure, I could use it to offset the cost of my trip to Alaska, or my addictions to World Market and Whole Foods, but really, $600? My rent is more than twice that.

But I knew the money was coming my way anyway, so for months now, I've been trying to figure out what I could do with the money. I wasn't about to play their game of bribery with the American public, but I didn't want to let the money go to waste. That made both spending and saving the money out of the question. I thought about just not cashing the check, but that was throwing the money away. The best I could think of was donating it to charity.

The only problem with that is it feeds into the whole "private charities can do better work than government programs" which is only true when we underfund those government programs, like we do now. Then it hit me - give the money to one of the hundreds of underfunded government programs! Finally, and just in time too, the checks are arriving this week. I still think the stimulus package is a bunch of bullshit, but at least I'll know that those tax dollars were well spent.

Note: Bear in mind, that this is my situation. Most people that don't need the money won't be getting any anyway, I just make the cut. I just wanted to share my idea.

I'm going to a New Kids on the Block Concert in October in Chicago. You soooo wish you were me.

Go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjO_VXHxsRw

My brother tuned me into this guy. He's the shit.

FYI:
The dead diabetic girl with negligent parents finally made the national news. The parents are being charged with second-degree reckless homicide.

I ran my first 5K this weekend! It was snowing and effing chilly, so I didn't feel bad about doing it in 32:something instead of 30:00, which was my original goal. I really enjoyed myself, so I'm thinking there are more to come...!

OK, yet another indicator of how fucked up this country is: A Hepatitis C patient in desperate need of a liver transplant was denied, and will likely die within days, because of marijuana use. The kicker? Marijuana use has no potential for causing a negative outcome regarding the transplant. And...wait for it...it was medical marijuana, prescribed by a doctor -- but evidently using this prescription is indicative of "an addictive personality."

My brother is a floor model at the Abercrombie&Fitch in the Dells. I didn't realize I had such a hawt sibling.

I'm really peeved that the media has been talking about the global food shortage with little to no coverage of the real issue here: global warming. It's the droughts that have caused the rice shortages, dammit! Droughts that were caused by global warming! *sigh*

I stockpiled rice today. Dude, I'm brown, what did you expect? The prices have doubled over the last three months.

CHALLENGE!

Because I'm getting fat (OK, because I'm getting sick of getting fat -- I've been getting fat for quite some time), I am challenging the world to find healthy recipes that I will actually eat. This will be a contest. Whoever posts the yummiest low-fat, low-calorie recipe will win a special prize that is yet to be determined.*

Also, it's probably important that I learn to eat at least a few things that are good for me. My mom's family has a history of super high cholesterol, restricted diets, and anti-cholesterol meds. It's likely the day will come when I can eat nothing but oatmeal and lettuce, so I should probably start practicing. Especially since regular exercise is unlikely to happen.

Difficulty:

• My favorite foods are cheese, alfredo sauce, ice cream, and salt. Meat -- especially of the red variety -- is also very high on the list.
• I don't like vegetables, especially the green ones. Potatoes, corn, and tomatoes, OK (in moderation). Spinach, broccoli, asparagus, artichoke hearts, green beans...eeeew. And don't even think about suggesting salad. You will lose.
  
• My cooking skillz are minimal. I can brown hamburger and boil pasta, but anything beyond basic presents a challenge. I do own a wide range of spices, though I don't really know what to do with them; my roommate left them in the cupboard when she moved out.
  
• I do not have more than 30 minutes to cook. Ever. Longer baking times are OK, though; I can grade papers while the food is in the oven.

* This prize will likely be something that will accrue value as it ages -- perhaps an autographed photocopy of my first published work. (Which is available now, the real thing, not the photocopy, from this website.)

Anxious Femininity Watch?

I was flipping through the radio stations in my car a few days ago, and almost puked up my green tea infused Canada Dry when I heard the following exchange:

Male DJ: "Yeah, ok, so the three dancers were, I guess, found with welts and bruises from being attacked by a paintball gun. The three exotic dancers were aged 28, 34 and 51. Uh..."

Female DJ: "Yeah! That's seriously like, the worst part of the story--"

Male DJ: "51 year old exotic dancer. So, is that the kind of thing where you hear that and go, "uhh....eeeh...." or, you know, "You go girl!"? "

Female DJ: (in mimicking, mocking tone) "Oh, you know, no! Cuz they're always like, 'I'm just working my way through college! I'm just working my way through college!' Please..."

Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and go out on a limb and say that the worst part of the story is not the age of the dancer but that three women were just assaulted with fucking paintball guns on their bare skin. CHRIST! EILISTRAEE! I hate that we live in such a shitty society where women think all other women are potential rivals of a sort, and feel that this kind of treatment is exactly what strippers deserve--a sort of just punishment so to speak for their "slutty behavior."

I just read Candy Girl by Diablo Cody (love her!), about her stripper days in Minnesota, and gotta say I was appalled. Stripping is a HUGE ripoff for the women doing it. The clubowners are really nothing more than glorified pimps in my opinion--they're verbally abusive, the work conditions are a fucking joke, and they get a HUGE cut of the money earned by the dancers (To the point where dancers can leave and actually owe the CLUB money after working a long-ass shift). She wrote about various clubs she worked at (Skyway Lounge, Schieks, Deja Vu, Dreamgirls, as well as a stint as a peepshow "doll" at Sex World), and in every single one the dancers got the shaft, and were treated like shit by, oh, everyone. She talks about an incident at Sex World, while in her glass cubicle, a bachelorette party came in and had the following exchange in front of her:

"Oh my God oh my God, Michelle. There's a girl in there."
"No way. That's a mannequin."
"No, she's totally breathing."
"Oh my God."
"Oh my God!"
"Gross! What does she do? Do they just pay her to sit in there and read?"
"I know! I bet she's supposed to be dancing in there or something."
"She's not that pretty. God, I could do that."
"I dare you to go talk to her."
"Gross! I don't want to go near her!"

(from the book): And so forth. You're shit and I'm champagne, I thought to myself, straightening on the lip-shaped divan. I tried to shrug off the dehumanizing remarks, but girls aren't made of stone. I usually came home on Saturdays, fell into a fitful sleep of back-to-back nightmares and woke up in a blue funk. For the first time, I was losing hit points in the epic battle to maintain my dignity. Girls can be so mean.

I hate to sound even remotely reminiscient of Camille Paglia, but are we fucking ourselves, too? I've known my share of wretched bitches, let me tell ya. Makes me want to not be near anyone, male or female. :-( Thoughts?

Sorry - in case you happened to read the No Toys post from my other blog on this blog! I'm on this new Mac thing Jacob insists is the next best thing to slice bread - personally I'm thinking it's as good as the poopy diaper I changed smells. So for some odd reason the little widget tool thingy thought I wanted to post to 17 bottles and put my post there! Sorry for the mix up, I think I got it fixed and taken care of now!

I'm not trying to instigate arguments or be disrespectful so please don't be offended. I'm not Catholic, but being raised Lutheran I kind of have an idea how Catholicism works because of the constant comparisons and we also have some Catholics in the family. The whole Pope visiting DC is what got me thinking. I know Catholics believe the same 10 commandments and I know - Not Worshiping False Idols is one of them. It seems to me like the Pope is idolized. Seriously - the huge festivities and stuff for this guy?! What's the deal? I respect him and realize he's the head of their church & there's a lot of tradition behind him, but do you think the head of the Lutheran Church or Alliance (that's our 'denomination' if you call it that) visited that they would receive as much hoopla? Is the Pope the one who saves Catholics or why is his blessing or whatever he gives better then a blessing from the priest down the road? Maybe this sounds totally retarded, but I can't believe the magnitude of celebration just for him stepping foot here.

Random Rant

You know...it really scratches my balls that teen girls who are pregnant are not allowed to be in the National Honor Society...but they don't have the same rules about the dudes that knocked them up. Straight up? Right-o, Matey.

Can someone explain this to me? Erica, you're a scientist -- how is this humanly possible? At 1:51, she rests her ass ON TOP of her head.

http://toiletsigns.blogspot.com/

Hilarious.

Please go to the February 12th post and die of laughter.

I found this joke funny, and unusual, because usually sex jokes are generally centered on men's sexuality and sexual needs. Thought I would share :)

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.

The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.

"Breast fed," the woman replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.

Motioning for her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is under weight! You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his grandmother, but I'm glad I came."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sciency question~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have they ever tested "rehab" and AA programs by allowing "non-addicts" to participate in them and monitored the results?

I'm watching the end of Celebrity Rehab and I don't think Jamiee Foxworth is an addict... I can't find any news about her, so I don't know if she "relapsed" or not.

I love Bravo - I mean I love love Project Runway, which is on Bravo, a lot. It is also a really good Bravo Production, leading me to think that Bravo is really good at reality shows. But the Real Housewives Series makes me want to claw out my ears!

And then there were three.

Grrrrr.

Let's take a vote. Did Fidel die? Press 1 for "Yes," 2 for "No."

Seriously, though...if Castro is still kicking it, why would Cuba hastily announce, in the middle of the night, that he's stepping down? Why not wait until morning? Why isn't it big news on the island? If Castro was alive to announce this himself, why did he write a letter to the newspaper? Why not give a speech instead, or give a speech in addition to the letter? OK, yes, he's not well -- but is he so sickly that he can't even wave to the people one last time?

I'm just saying.

To think this day would never come: Principal Mancuso is 'graduating' with the class of 08!

Anxious Masculinity Watch--suicide-style

Apparently, some anxious anthropologist is blaming the wimmins for male suicide with their "manipulative behavior." Man. I only WISH I'd driven some men to suicide. I ripped this off of feministing.com:

"I can't say in the short term that we can begin to change the culture to be less male hostile. It is going to take years. But a part of what needs to be done is to re-socialise not only our males but also our females. Frankly, some of our females are far too manipulative," Gayle told the Sunday Observer, adding that it should come as little surprise that men were killing their women and themselves.

Yes, because we all know that the CRAZAZY-ness of women stepping out of line and actually arguing with the poor menz is liable to make ANYONE suicidal.

I would like to share something from the vault, dated July 13, 2000, 2:22 a.m.:

Those bastards should die. They made Erica cry. That's really fucking severe. I've never seen her cry before. She didn't even cry over ERiC. Well, that's not true. She did, but not in public. But "the man" and her whole frickin softball team, and those blind, dick-headed umpries made Erica cry in front of everyone. I hate that ANYONE can make Erica cry. She's the tough one...and if she can cry over a stupid little game that means absolutely nothing in the overall picture of things, then how tough does that make the rest of us?

Does anyone have any memory of this? After stumbling across it, I have a really hazy memory of a beer ball game gone awry, but...what the hell happened?

I am reading the most fascinating book with Parker right now.

It's called Language Exploration and Awareness, by Larry Andrews. Yes, it's a grammar book. It's also seriously interesting how Standard American English (SAE) and grammar "rules" are actually just social rules that often have the effect of stigmatizing whole groups of minorities and the manner in which they speak by declaring it "wrong" or "improper" use of grammar and language.

Key points I find terribly interesting:

1. SAE "rules" were not actually created for English. Back in the day, when Latin was taught and English actually was not, they decided that they were hearing too many deviations in the manner in which people were speaking English. So they decided to teach the language, though it was the native language of the US, and imposed grammatical "rules" that were made for Latin and other romance languages--hence why a lot of these "rules" don't make any sense in English, yet they make tons of sense for Latin, Spanish, etc. (ex: "Never split an infinitive." This makes sense for Spanish, as is illustrated in the example of "leer," or "to read." If one said, "le con cuidado er" it would make no fucking sense. But, in English--"I want you to carefully read pages 105 to 108..." makes perfect sense.) The rules are seriously outdated and conservative...and they also stand to create division and racism. As you will see in my other interested point--

2. African-American Vernacular English (aka AAVE, or Black Vernacular English--BVE, or ebonics) is often cited as "improper use of English," or "slang." But actually, it is NOT a degenerative language, as it is often described. Instead, it's, "a variety of English that followed a different path to its own pattern of regularization."--Larry Andrews. Obviously, AAVE is not all-encompassing of African Americans any more than SAE is all-encompassing of all Anglo-Americans. However, SAE is no more "correct" than AAVE, as it too is derivative and follows no clear pattern or rule structure...so why are people hyper-critical of AAVE? Frankly, I think it's shrouded racism--by labeling that way in which someone speaks as "ignorant," you slyly sneak in the idea that the person him/herself is ignorant. There is nothing linguistically incorrect, but socially...

I only wish I'd read this book a few years ago, when I got into an argument with some jag-off that said anyone speaking "incorrect" English was a follower of "gangsta culture."


I would be interested to know what Lauren thinks of this, as she is devoting her time and life to the study of linguistics.

Remember her?! I must say Creative Writing was one of the most different and kind of a weird intense class I had ever taken.

Freshman Quote of the Day: "Pointing out your point is impotent."

I'm irritated about an article I just read on MSN about a new robot called, "The FemiSapien." She's a robot, obviously, but her main functions are dancing for you, blowing kisses and "being affectionate."

Some might say that the leaps and bounds being made in robotics and other technologies are great for furthering knowledge of what we can do (ie, medical technology, etc), but I think this is gross. It irritates me that these fields are so male-dominated that the things they've managed to accomplish include finding yet more ways to be sexist.

Some of you may be thinking, "But Jamie. This is a good way for men to get rid of some of their more sexist inclinations by having a robot to function as an outlet." That's the violent porno excuse if ever I heard one. This shit only encourages the belief that these are primary functions for all things female. Why not create a Data? I love that guy.

I realize that Lauren and I are the only Buffy geeks among us, but the show is really well-written. There's an episode where this nerd boy (who exhibits every trait that Erica had blogged about in her "nice guy" syndrome) creates a "girlfriend" robot. He claims that he was lonely, and her only function was to "love" him. However, we get a shot of things through robotia's eyes later, and it's all sex programming (different, kinky sex positions, lap dances, servitude, etc). The character also goes on to be a woman-hating motherfucker. Obviously, this is just a television show. But it does exhibit something I believe to be true--utilization of technology in a sexist manner only creates more animosity towards the reality of women, and furthers the belief that women have certain functions...and when those functions do not exist in a woman (ie, servitude, sexual slavery, etc), more and more men act like pigs towards them. This grosses me out. I can only imagine how much it cost to design the fucker.

Forgive me, because this is going to sound whiny and, I'm sure, politically incorrect...but I have some minor issues with Disability Support Services. Today a student stayed after class to give me a letter from DSS requesting extra time to complete tests and quizzes, requesting permission to use a word processor for all in-class work, and requesting that I recruit a notetaker for the student.

This student, with all of these accommodations, will receive the same degree upon graduation as the students who don't get extra time to do their work, and who don't get to have a personal notetaker. That doesn't seem right to me. To the best of my knowledge, this student's degree will not come with a note from Disability Support Services stapled to the corner. My question is this. If the student can't function under normal conditions in college, how will the student manage life in the workplace? By awarding the degree, it seems that the university is saying this person is competent in his/her field. But IS this person competent if he/she cannot take his/her own notes at meetings, and needs special accommodations and extra time to complete his/her work? What employer will make these concessions? (Or are they legally required to bend the rules for employees with ADD, or dyslexia, or whatever else DSS sends these notes out for?)

Not to mention that, as a teacher, these conditions are super annoying. I will either have to remove pop reading quizzes from my curriculum, something I don't want to do because without the threat of a potential quiz a lot of English 111 students don't read, or let this student take the reading quizzes outside of class at Disability Support Services. The out-of-class quiz option isn't fair to the rest of the class, because the student would be taking the quizzes AFTER the in-class reading discussions, which are always the follow-up to the quizzes. (I can't make the student take the quizzes in advance, since it would mean he/she has less time to complete the reading assignment.) This means that if the student hasn't done the reading, he/she will still have the benefit of the discussion when taking the reading quiz. And let's face it. Even he/she has read, the discussion will help to clarify the reading. (At least, that's the case for about 90% of people.) This whole modified curriculum stuff seems inherently unfair.

And in-class writing assignments, of which there are PLENTY in English 111, raise a whole different set of concerns. Do I let the student take his/her work home to complete it, since I'm sure as hell not going to wait around after class to allot him/her the mandated extra time? That's not fair to everyone else, is it? Half of my curriculum has just been shot all to hell by a stupid letter from stupid DSS. I'm annoyed. I am not paid enough to re-work my curriculum -- either for the whole class, or for this one student.

Grrrrrrr.

A former classmate's sister was murdered by her husband a few days ago. She had two kids. Apparently she served him divorce papers a few days prior, after having dealt with him cheating on her and emotionally abusing her and the kids (not to mention threatening her). It was her birthday and she was going to church (they are Mormon and live in a Mormon community). What an entitled piece of shit. I hate men.

I made the mistake of reading comments to the newspaper article, and of course there were people who were totally defending him... OH THE POOR MENZ!!! HE HAD TO DEAL WITH ALL THE WOMEN-CENTRIC DIVORCE LAWS! SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN PACKING HEAT (even though she was shot in the back)!!! DON'T JUDGE HIM ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE HIM!!!

Argh.

I laughed til I cried at this: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/74

This is an email someone forwarded me. This is pathetic. I hate that this has probably influenced someone somewhere along the forward chain. This is almost ENTIRELY untrue and disgusting - it makes me sick to my stomach!

>Obama mentioned his church during his appearance with Oprah. It's the
> Trinity Church of Christ. I found this interesting.
> Obama's church: Please read and go to this church's website and read
> what is written there. It is very alarming. Barack Obama is a member
> of this church and is running for President of the U.S. If you look at
> the first page of their website, you will learn that this congregation
> has a non-negotiable commitment to Africa. No where is AMERICA even
> mentioned.
> Notice too, what color you will need to be if you should want to join
> Obama's church... B-L-A-C-K!!!
> Doesn't look like his choice of religion has improved much over his
> (former?) Muslim upbringing.
> Are you aware that Obama's middle name is Mohammed? Strip away his
> nice looks, the big smile and smooth talk and what do you get?
> Certainly a racist, as plainly defined by the stated position of his
> church! And possibly a covert worshiper of the Muslim faith, even
> today. This guy desires to rule over America while his loyalty is
> totally vested in a Black Africa!
> I cannot believe this has not been all over the TV and newspapers.
> This is why it is so important to pass this message along to all of
> our family & friends. To think that Obama has even the slightest
> chance in the run for the presidency, is really scary.